Happy Gorge Yourself to Bloatation Day aka Gobble Gobble Motherfuckers!

I am thankful for everyone and everything good in my life. I've been awake less than an hour, so that's the best you're getting out of me for at least the time being.

Some of these are for self-reference/motivation, and others are just fun. StumbleUpon is a neat little Firefox add-on that is like a little friend in your browser that will show you things to look at when you're bored with the web.

Ariana Osborne on how to start a project. Good, simple advice that is universally sound.

Twilight Cycles from Brandon Routh (Video) - Brandon Routh stars in a commercial for vampires and their human girlfriends who need extra protection during that special time of the month.

Movies in Fifteen Minutes - 2012 - cleolinda is so funny it shouldn't be legal.

Gelaskins DIY Mobile Art - Create skins out of your own (or any) artwork for your phone, laptop, iPod, gaming system, etc.

A "killer" gaming wallpaper (several sizes)

What The "Do Nothing" Obama Has Accomplished - A blog discussing the things that people were either unaware of, chose to ignore or failed to acknowlege.

Create a font from your own handwriting. - All you need is a printer and a scanner, and it's free.

Guinness cupcakes with Bailey's frosting - NOM NOM NOM

Get Excited And Make Things - I want this on a shirt, a poster, hell, I want that crown as a tattoo.

I am thankful for....

-Opportunites, in their various forms.
-Black shimmery nail polish
-Sushi
-Good times and funny stories
-Laughing till I nearly cry
-Crazy ideas
-Epiphanies

( Other stuff... )

Borrowed from ms_daisy_cutter:

( Cut to protect your sanity. )

So a government task force has decided that women shouldn't bother getting a mammogram until the age of 50, and self breast exams are utterly worthless. I shouldn't be this irate this early in the morning.

My aunt beat breast cancer in her late 30's, BECAUSE she caught it early with a self-exam. And because she has had it, it puts me at a higher risk for it. But I shouldn't concern myself for another 18 years, because silly women, they get all paranoid every time they feel the slightest bump and it wastes time and money. This is some serious bullshit right here. Remember when they were telling women to consider themselves "pre-pregnant?" Some things only get more stupid.

Is it sad that so far today, my biggest cause for joy is having my smartassness recognized on ljdq?

Well, it's got to be good for something. :p

Ok, I originally posted this back in 2005, but since I've referenced it a couple of times this week, it seemed like a good time for a revival. So here it is, in all its weird and wonderful glory, my brief time with the hippies and a cautionary tale on drinking unfamiliar tea. Oh, and a Smurf orgy.

( Way back in the 20th century... )

Ok, I saw this post by ms_daisy_cutter last night, regarding Colorado Sentator Dave Schultheis, and a rather fucking retarded comment he made on his Twitter last night.

She also included this link, further demonstrating this guy's fucknuttery.

Just a mere morsel of the stupidity from said link:

SEN. DAVE SCHULTHEIS, R-Colorado Springs, on Wednesday voted againt Senate Bill 179, which requires pregnant women to undergo HIV testing to ensure steps can be taken to reduce transferring the disease to the baby if the mother is infected.

* What he said during the debate: "This stems from sexual promiscuity for the most part and I just can't go there. We do things continually to remove the consequences of poor behavior, unacceptable behavior, quite frankly. I'm not convinced that part of the role of government should be to protect individuals from the negative consequences of their actions."

* What he said afterward: "What I'm hoping is that yes, that person may have AIDS, have it seriously as a baby and when they grow up, but the mother will begin to feel guilt as a result of that. The family will see the negative consequences of that promiscuity and it may make a number of people over the coming years ... begin to realize that there are negative consequences and maybe they should adjust their behavior. We can't keep people from being raped. We can't keep people from shooting each other. We can't keep people from jumping off bridges. People drink and drive, and they crash and kill people. Poor behavior has its consequences."

Ok, I know that Kentucky's senators are very much in the same bag when it comes to this sort of pure evil and stupidity. But at least they had the decency to keep their idiocy on a more eloquent level.

And like I said in my comment on ms_daisy_cutter's post: "I feel like I just got punked."

Okay, so if you've ever wondered something about me, now is the time to ask. Or if you just feel like asking me a question that has been on your mind that has nothing to do with me. I don't care. Ask me anything, no matter how weird or silly you might think it will be. All replies are screened, so your question and my answer will be just between us.

Thank you Daddy, thank you Mom, thank you CJ, thank you Don, and thanks to everyone else that served and continues to serve.

LOOK WHAT I FOUND!

http://www.noisebot.com/i_piss_excellence_t-shirt.htm

That whole site is full of win, but that made me yell "OH MY GOD!" and I had to tell you like, NOW.

:D

Remember this?



I have more. The last one is my personal favorite. ( Lots of images under the cut, just a heads up. )

I managed to pull a few pictures off my camera of when I wrecked my brother's car back in September. Just click on the picture to go to the gallery, where I described what happened better.

This week I am thankful for:

- My friends
- Coffee
- Music
- Silly cats
- Comfy pajama pants
- Teh artz
- Finally getting ONE interview. (Yeesh.)
- The fact that I am not this bear (yes, that's a bear):



Story here:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1225042/Bald-bears-baffle-vets-mystery-condition-German-zoo.html

I think it's pretty evident that the full moon this time around was mocking me. I screwed up two computers in as many days. I swear, that has NEVER happened to me before. I was about become Amish. Thankfully, one of them is fixed, and the other one should be soon as well, so I'm not too stressed over it. Just feel a little techno-paranoia is all. :p

On the plus side, I actually drew today, for the first time in months. I KNOW. It wasn't anything spectacular, just a girl doing yoga, but still. And I guess I had some pent up art in me because I busted that out in under an hour. I've decided I'm going to take some time to draw some every day, at least an hour or so. I just haven't had the peace/quiet/space/time to actually do anything like that in so long, I almost forgot what it was like.

And it's funny, because I accused Katy of peeking in my brain this morning, because she asked if I'd brought any of my art supplies with me. And of course, I didn't, so off to Micheal's we went. I've got to quit leaving my brain door open. :p

If my mother ever sends me my camera cord, I'll start posting my sketches and stuff again. But, I'm not holding my breath on that.

Oh, and last but not least, I have an interview with a staffing agency tomorrow that I hope will turn into something involving a paycheck. We shall see. *crosses boobs*

Sorry I haven't been back online in a while. I saw the comments on my last post just now. I'm still fairly depressed, but I am feeling a little better. I think ignoring bullshit in general helps that. It's hard, but I'm learning to block it out.

Oh, and I killed a car a couple of weeks back. My brother had just bought a 2001 Olds Alero from a friend, and it had shitty brakes. But I got a little overconfident and drove it anyway. I was careful and all, gave myself a lot of time to stop, but when someone randomly slams on their brakes in front of you...yeah. That happened on the 3rd. I was headed into town with Tony when some guy just fucking STOPPED DEAD in the middle of the road. I hit the brakes and they locked up, and we started to slide. I steered toward the side of the road, because it was either that, hit the guy in the rear, or hit oncoming traffic head on.

I flipped the car three times. We came to a stop lying on the passenger side. I remember it happened really fast and really slow at the same time, because I watched the windshield spiderweb, but I didn't realize that the car had flipped until after it was all over with.

Crazy thing is, I didn't have a scratch on me. Tony had some cuts from the broken glass, and bruised up his leg a little, but he's fine too. I did tear a couple of tendons in my neck, but it's really not that bad now. I feel fairly normal, in that regard. I think the shittiest part about the whole thing was hanging by my seat belt until the EMTs pulled me out through the sunroof.

The car is fucked. Smashed all to shit. It's just crazy that we weren't hurt worse. Thankfully I am a seat belt fanatic, because it totally saved our asses.

( So I'm fine, at least in the not being dead sense. )

G4 is having a Ninja Warrior marathon all weekend, and we're making comments about the many competitors. Of course, Beth has to have her say. She said something about how young the older Japanese men looked. Someone (I forget who) said something about the differences in culture and diet and how that can affect aging, noting the large amount of rice consumed.

Beth: So they eat rice with their hamburgers instead of fries?
Me: ...no, they typically eat a little healthier than that.
Beth: They don't have room for cows there anyway.
Me: *facepalm*

And just as I was typing this, I asked Beth if she was feeling okay. She looked a little like she was hurting.

Beth: My butthole hurts. Mom said I'm probably ovulating.

And then she disappeared into the backyard.

I was driving to Morehead to go pick up the twins. I had just been all over town dropping off Mom, Tony and Goober off at their workplaces. The car has been fine forever, so I didn't think twice about getting on the interstate. I hadn't even gotten five miles when the air conditioner started blowing hot air and I saw the car was overheating. Fuck.

So I pulled over to the side of the highway and tried to figure out what my options were. I had no phone, no money (but plenty of gas, since I'd just put all of the money I did have in the tank), and I was a good couple of miles to the next exit. So I sat there long enough for the engine to cool off a little and made it to the exit, and a gas station.

So I called Chris (kids' dad) and told him what was going on. He and Sara and the girls came with some coolant and it did no good. So they brought me back here. Thankfully, my friend DJ showed up, so he and Beth went to go see if they could get it going. I know a little about cars, but not enough to deal with whatever was going on there.

So now I'm stuck here with the twins and my nephews, Beth is going to get Mom from work to help deal with the car, and I guess they're going to get Goob and Tony (who should both be getting off work any minute now.

What makes it even better is my hands are a wreck and I've been trying to hedge off a migraine that's been hovering since yesterday.

...and Mom and Beth just got home. DJ's gonna tow the car and work on it tomorrow. A belt got shredded, and according to him, I'm lucky I managed to make it to the exit without blowing the engine.

My aunt and uncle are professional photographers. They're currently in Amsterdam for a wedding. My uncle Rick has put up tons of pictures from their trip up on Facebook. I was looking at some of them with Beth.

There was one picture of Madam Tussaud's (wax museum). Signage clearly stated such.

Beth: Is that the Vatican?
Me: The Vatican is in Italy.
Beth: Then where does the pope live?
Me: In. Italy. *facepalm*

Mom: Where's Beth?
Goober: She's upstairs with Tiffany and DJ. She's putting on makeup and talking about Einstein.
Mom: I didn't think she knew who Einstein was.
Goober: Well, I think she's just doing more listening than talking.

Beth came in from the grocery store and carried in a couple dozen bags. She finished putting everything away and sat down.

Beth: Oh my god! My veins in my hands are all popped up!
Me: It's called getting exercise. That happens. *eye rollage*
Beth: No, I think I have osteoporosis.
Me: You're 22. You're way too young for that.
Beth: It must be early-onset osteoporosis then.
Me: *facepalm*

Not 30 minutes later...

Mom demonstrated her porntastic swallowing ability by downing all of her meds in one big gulp.

Me: *snickering* If you ever get bored with your current job, I'm sure we could make you a star in Tijuana.
Mom: *also snickering* I think that's an acquired taste I don't want to get used to.
Beth: I don't get it.
Tiffany (Beth's friend): I don't get it either.
Me: *snortchuckle*
Mom: Donkey shows? Like in Clerks II?
Beth: Oh my god! People actually do that?!
Mom: Oh, oh yeah.
Beth: I thought that was just something they faked in movies, like porn.
Me: *choking laughing*
Mom: Beth, how do you think they make pornos? With stunt dicks?
Me: *running to the bathroom before I piss myself*

We're watching the WWE pay per view. Specifically, a Samoan strap match. The word "Samoan" is liberally sprinkled throughout the commentary. We've got people over and we're making guesses at who's going to win.

Beth: I think the Somalia guy is gonna win.

Hell yeah. If I can't kill her, I'm sure as fuck gonna make fun of her.

Me: Are you trying to stick my hand in your butt?
Tony: No, I'm trying to fight crime!

-Coffee is good.
-Skin is ouch.
-Mom taking me and Tony out for Mexican last night was great.
-Mom having kidney stones is ouch for her, but at least her sleepy vicodin rambles are funny.
-Tony starting work today is good.
-Me having to chauffeur everyone in the house for the next couple of days is only a minor suck.
-Having little kids around is fun for the most part.
-Waking up to Lando yelling because he's created a body bridge between the computer chair and desk is heart attack inducing (he's 18 months old).
-Aiden insisted on Beth buying him a baby doll yesterday. He named it Steve.
-Finding my brother asleep on the living room floor was slightly disturbing.
-Finding out he did it because Ray (Beth's cat) brought him a dead mouse in the middle of the night was seemingly a good reason for it.
-Finding out that the dead mouse was actually a catnip-stuffed toy I'd bought for Zoe was enough to make me nearly piss myself laughing. He brought it to me wrapped in a paper towel to show me Ray's "kill".

• 06:51 Fuck you, eczema. Fuuuuck you. #

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I wish it were that simple to fix. I have eczema. It sucks. My hands and feet have exploded. It hasn't been this bad in years. The worst flareup was the first one. I ended up in a friggin' wheelchair for a couple of months because my hands and feet were nothing but raw meat.

( Cut for less than attractive details )
I'm giving it a few more days with my usual treatments, but this flareup feels particularly nasty. I might actually have to go see a doctor to get a steroid boost to kill this. *sigh* I hate this because I feel absolutely disgusting. I don't want to touch Tony or pick up my nephews or even hand someone something. I have to sleep with socks on, and that drives me nuts because I normally sleep nude (bet you all needed to know that *snicker*). So that's why I woke up at 5 am and decided to just stay up. And now I'm full of coffee and feel like crap. Now I have to go dig out some Benadryl and maybe go lie back down if it does its job.

ETA: No Benadryl. Found remnants of last Lexapro bottle. If I can't get antihistamine, I'll take brain numbers instead.

• 02:27 Cop just came by to ask if I'd seen any runaway cows. COWS. At 2:30 in the mornng. Cows. #

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• 22:00 Don't you dare make fun of my cat's biscuit making ability! #

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• 23:21 @opiate1138 That was pretty cool. I wasn't sure if I'd like it or not, but I dug it. #

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• 22:37 Do me down, do me dirty, lower than a snake can go....do me down, do me dirty, like so many times before.... #
• 22:58 A new direction, no stone unturned, no tears to damn you when jealousy burns... #

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• 07:55 Ok, someone stop this bullshit-coaster, I want to get off. #

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• 14:54 My boyfriend can turn toddlers into muppets. #

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What the hell happened to scans_daily? It seems to have gotten sucked into oblivion during my time in the dark. And does anyone know of an equivalent? I miss my crack.

I have discovered that I'm probably allergic to Band-Aids. One more thing to add to the list of stuff that makes me sneeze, swell, break out and/or explode. I put one on a little scrape last night and it gave me a rash.

My sister didn't want to say the word "jail" in front of her kids, so she said "I have to go talk to Brady at the J-I-L-E."

Me: The what?

Beth: The J-A-L-E.

Me: Seriously?

Beth: You know what I mean.

Me: *laughing* I want you to start spelling everything you say from now on.

• 16:18 Literally just lost the kitten in the couch. *snort* #

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